Praying for Miracles to Happen

It’s around one year my dad go for dialysis.

# THROWBACK #

It was one of the day in April 2013, I found out that my dad was diagnosed with kidney failure. Both of his kidney failed to function. I knew that something wrong is going on with him the few weeks back because his face seems to be worry and stress out. His leg starts to have a bit of black marks and it get worse day by day.

 One day, I tried to talk to him and ask him what’s going on. He didn’t want to tell us the truth because he knows that we will be sad if we knows his condition. Finally after persuade him, he told us about his health.

                He only went to the government hospital for regular check-up. I felt sad inside seeing my dad taking more than 10 tablets per time but it seems like he’s getting worse.  So my dad decided to go to the private hospital for check-up and what the doctor told him is to immediately stop taking the tablets that the government hospital gave because it’s spoiling his kidney. After a few check-up, the doctor persuade him to go a dialysis because both of his kidney is totally fail to function which is so dangerous for him. That time, my heart felt like broken into pieces knowing that my dad’s kidney was totally fail.

                The doctor said that he need to have at least one kidney to help him in filtering blood to filter out all the toxins in the body and he can find a donor. That time, my brother and I thought of donating a kidney to my dad but he wouldn’t want to accept because he said we are still young and still have a long journey to go.

                 He said when he first get to know that he have kidney failure, he couldn’t accept it. He didn’t want to go for dialysis because he can’t live a normal life like others. He need to go for dialysis 3 times per week and around 6 hours per day. He said it was his biggest regret not to consult a few doctors.

                I couldn’t control my feeling and sadness every time my friend is talking about kidney. My heart is like cut by a knife. One day I cried in front of public because my friend suddenly talk about kidney. I usually can control my feeling but on that day I didn’t know why my tears just flow down my cheek when I heard about kidney but I felt better after letting all my sadness out. My friend was so shock to see me cry because I’m that type of girl who always happy go lucky in their eyes. Actually they didn’t know that sometimes deep down inside of me is just a sad girl. I tried to hide my feelings by putting on a fake smile because I didn’t want my friends to worry about me.

                Till now my dad still goes for dialysis. Sometimes when I was in the dialysis centre with my dad, my heart is like cutting by a knife. Looking at the nurse poking a needle into his vain. I knew that he is suffering. Every night, I pray to God hoping that his kidney will be functioning back and cure him.

I’m glad to know that my uncle is going to donate a kidney to him and I pray that the operation will be a success. Now, I still continue praying for my dad and I hope that one day he will live a normal life like us too.

"Never give up, because miracles happens everyday"

Do I believe in long term and long distance relationship?

Someone asked me this question “Do I believe in long distance and long term relationship?”

       I just barely gave him a short answer. But here’s what I truly and honestly think about long term and long distance relationship.

        It’s rather difficult for most people for this kind of relationship and I think long distance love without having seen the person at least once per week is risky but Yes I do believe in long term relationship. If there’s trust, honesty and patience between both of the couple there will be no problem with that if both put their whole hearts into it and are willing to be patient until the day they can be together.

          I believe the key to a successful long distance relationship is communication. I'll try to communicate more than once per day if we are separated by distance. I will give him a call or text him everyday. Or maybe Skype him if I really miss him. I'll try to do anything to make this relationship works. Even if we are busy, I'll try to find time for a quick video chat each day. I will be glad enough if I'm being able to see his face and know his condition by video chat him. Sometimes it's also good to concern about the one we love by asking what am I doing. At least I knows that I'm on his mind every single time. A relationship cannot thrive if the only we have is phone calls. Sometimes, we need to see each other in person at every opportunity and try to visit on regular schedule if possible.

         I think that long distance relationship will work if we have a personal object of the person we love. We will able to hold on to something that once belong to the person we love. This will provide comfort, happiness and the thought of being with the person.

I feel that if we truly love that person, we willing to wait for that person even if we are far apart. You just willing to sacrifice ourself by waiting.

As long as both people are willing to make the relationship work and be faithful, true love will survive and anything is possible.

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."